Week 19&20, Inner Struggle

As already is clear from the title of this blog-post, there is an inner struggle going on.
And how amazing is it, that right now, a coach reached out to me, one who has done about 600 interviews last year and has helped many, individuals and businesses to 100 million revenue or more….thank you Universe, thank you Creative Mind….the demand was clear, the way is shown.

I’ve not been faithful with the daily reading….I’ve read, but often it was just once or twice…I even missed a day or 2 in doing my sits…..I felt tired, really tired to being exhausted.
So I decided to cut back some working hours, as those have been insane for months….I had to, my health is important and no one will be helped if I end up being unable to lead this company….I’ve peace with that now, after a few sits on this subject.

Learning to delegate, but that had to come together with a clear understanding of each individual’s role in this company.
Bureaucracy is still driving us crazy, but we should see the end of that part now finally….improvement in communication is implemented..progress even though slower than we would have wished.

At times it feels like that old Blueprint still is popping up….hey, it’s useless, better spend your time to simply relax a bit….other days where I can be very strict in replacing that idea with a 25 times of ‘Do it Now’….and, something that I’m not sure if others are experiencing the same, people that I used to have some nice conversations with in the past, the ‘before MKMMA life’ so to speak….I’m struggling to find a topic to talk about.

In a way we have so much depth in conversations with our mastermind partners, our MKMMA friends, that with people who are not in that inside circle, it all seem to be so hollow, so much about the things I can’t even talk about: topics from the news on television….a bit hard if you don’t watch television, don’t watch series etc…..the weather is always safe, inquiring about kids, spouses and family will work….but after that….

On the other hand, new people are reaching out….but it’s like a twilight zone, the old is not yet completely gone and the new not yet completely arrived….that at times can be quite lonely….and those are the moments Mr Old Blueprint peaks around the corner.

Writing this blog-post helps me to see that very clear, so now it’s up to me, to stay on compass, to persist in meeting my future self….I like that woman so much, so will not have that old chap keep me from doing that….but shoot, it isn’t always easy!

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8 thoughts on “Week 19&20, Inner Struggle

  1. Mariska, don’t be so hard on yourself. Accept the win weather they are big or small and most importantly, remember it is a journey. In time, It will all pan out. You are a winner.

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  2. Very nice post, you are doing great not to worry, we all have ours days. Even I sometimes don’t get into the alliances area or concentrate on my sits yet…Don’t worry you are a Winner!!!!

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  3. Mariska, you are growing..henceforth the test of the old BP. Your struggles are my struggles..
    I am with you knowing that I too go through those crazy days when I miss a reading or a sit .
    I just take a breath and give myself a kick in the pants with “Do it NOW!!!”

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  4. I have also had days that I have struggled and from me talking to other MKMMA members I realize I am not the only one. It sounds like you are making wonderful progress and pushing through to the future you!! We are all here together 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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